rodney dangerfield last words

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. Yeah, I know Im ugly I said to a bartender, Make me a zombie. He said God beat me to it. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance. After the. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. If not, about an hour and a half. I got myself good this morning too. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. My sex life is terrible; my wife put a mirror over the dogs bed. Movie Answer Man. [21], In 1969, Rodney Dangerfield teamed up with longtime friend Anthony Bevacqua to build the Dangerfield's comedy club in New York City, a venue where he could perform on a regular basis without having to constantly travel. Im not a sexy guy. "When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.". We call him Egypt. Actor: Back to School. at fractions.'. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. He thought the joke would be stronger if it used the format: "I was so " beginning ("I was so poor," "He was so ugly," "She was so stupid," etc.). [10] Then, at the age of 19 he legally changed his name to Jack Roy. I purchased this for my husband for Christmas and we had an opportunity to watch one of the dvds the other day. "I was ugly, very ugly. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. If not, about an hour and a half." He passed away six weeks later. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. 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Marsha Mason, Rodney Dangerfield: Benny Goodman: Desk- "Fascinating Facts" 3966: . A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! ~ Rodney Dangerfield. Rodney Dangerfield quotes and jokes Funny Rodney Dangerfield quotes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 I get no respect at all - When I was a kid, I lost my parents at the beach. I came from a real tough neighborhood. With my wife I get no respect. I could tell my parents hated me. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. Rodney Dangerfield (born Jacob Rodney Cohen; November 22, 1921 October 5, 2004) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, screenwriter, and producer. Dangerfield added that he was a "logical" atheist, adding, "We're apesdo apes go anyplace? Dangerfield answered he was a "logical" atheist and added, "We're apesdo apes go anyplace? 1. He was popular for many years and his name has remained easily recognizable over the years, with many Rodney Dangerfield jokes both by him and about him. Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire. His act grew in popularity as he became a mainstay on late-night talk shows throughout the 1960s and 1970s, eventually developing into a headlining act on the Las Vegas casino circuit. [38][39], At the time of a People magazine article on Dangerfield in 1980, he was sharing an apartment on Manhattan's Upper East Side with a housekeeper, his poodle Keno, and his closest friend of 30 years, Joe Ancis (whom Dangerfield called "the funniest guy I know"),[40] who was also a friend of and major influence on Lenny Bruce. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. With my doctor, I don't get no respect. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Rodney Dangerfield animated GIFs to your conversations. My wife is always trying to get rid of me. I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night. Caddyshack II is a 1988 American sports comedy film and a sequel to the 1980 film Caddyshack.Directed by Allan Arkush and written by Harold Ramis (who co-wrote and directed the original Caddyshack) and PJ Torokvei, it stars Jackie Mason, Robert Stack, Dyan Cannon, Dina Merrill, Jonathan Silverman, Brian McNamara, Marsha Warfield, Paul Bartel, and Randy Quaid with special appearances by Chevy . "[2] and his monologues on that theme. When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. [23] One of his TV specials featured a musical number, "Rappin' Rodney", which appeared on his 1983 follow-up album, Rappin' Rodney. "One year they asked me to be a poster boyfor birth control.". If not, about an hour and a half" en.wikipedia.org 1.1K 46 46 comments Best Add a Comment conoresque 10 yr. ago [41] Ancis, who was "too psychologically damaged to be able to live in a germ-infested world on his own", lived with Dangerfield until Ancis's death in 2001. I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot. Rodney Dangerfield, 39. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. Rodney Dangerfield Net Worth: $10 Million Compare Rodney Dangerfield's Net Worth Rodney Dangerfield Net Worth: Rodney Dangerfield was an American comedian and actor who had a net. When he handed the shirt to the museum's curator, Rodney joked, "I have a feeling you're going to use this to clean Lindbergh's plane."[35]. I didnt want to interrupt her. Rodney Dangerfield, 31. I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney Dangerfield, 29. 14. My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Additional film work kept him busy through the rest of his life, mostly in comedies, but with a rare dramatic role in 1994's Natural Born Killers as an abusive father. I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. Dangerfield's was the venue for several HBO comedy specials starring such stand-up comics as Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Tim Allen, Roseanne Barr, Robert Townsend, Jeff Foxworthy, Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks, Rita Rudner, Andrew Dice Clay, Louie Anderson, Dom Irrera, and Bob Saget. Most of his jokes were based on this catchphrase derived from a discussion when he once overheard some guys while they were talking about respect. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport. Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. They married in 1951, divorced in 1961, remarried in 1963, and divorced again in 1970, although Rodney lived largely separated from his family. Dangerfield walks a fine line making fun of everyone without seeming mean. [53][54], Dangerfield's widow held an event in which the word "respect" had been emblazoned in the sky, while each guest was given a live monarch butterfly for a butterfly-release ceremony led by Farrah Fawcett. Things that make them bigger. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield, 15. [73][74], In August 2017, a plaque honoring Dangerfield was installed in Kew Gardens, his old Queens neighborhood. There's nobody home.' I went over. Best Rodney Dangerfield Quotes. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. The show starred Jared Rushton as a teenager, also named Rodney, who could summon Dangerfield whenever he needed guidance about his life. He had a stroke during the procedure, and after being in a coma for nearly two months, Dangerfield passed away on October 5. Source: IMDB. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. It is almost difficult to smile at jokes, but his quotes remind us that laughter is the essence of life. With me, nothing goes right. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. he told me to wear a brown tie. Rodney Dangerfield, 19. His salary for the film was $35,000, but he claimed he lost $150,000 in Las Vegas bookings by doing the film. When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. Rodney Dangerfield, 35. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can't. Rodney Dangerfield My mother had morning sickness after I was born. He answered, 'I don't know, kid. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. With my wife I dont get no respect. [28][29], In a change of pace from the comedy persona that made him famous, he played an abusive father in Natural Born Killers in a scene for which he wrote or rewrote all of his own lines. Edit: Just perusing the wiki, it says the surgery was on august 24th and his death wasnt til october. 5 rounded . A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. Stern asked Dangerfield if he believed in an afterlife. You'd love to be insulted by this guy. You must have been something before electricity. Im so ugly my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet. Rodney Dangerfield, 57. My old man took me to the zoo. In the 1980s, after watching Carrey perform at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles, Rodney signed Carrey to open for Dangerfield's Las Vegas show. [66], In 2007, a Rodney Dangerfield tattoo was among the most popular celebrity tattoos in the United States. After being shunned by some premier comedy venues, he returned home where he began developing a character for whom nothing goes right. Continue reading these best Rodney Dangerfield wife jokes below. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. Scopus Campus that reads "Joan and Rodney Dangerfield."[76]. For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper. Featured comedians included Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Jay Leno, Ray Romano, Roseanne Barr, Jerry Seinfeld, Bob Saget, Jerry Stiller, Kevin Kline and Jeff Foxworthy. So these were the 120 top Rodney Dangerfield quotes, jokes, captions and one-liners. I cant get no respect. My uncles dying wish he wanted me on his lap. ~ Rodney Dangerfield.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'internetpillar_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_17',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); I drink too much. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. Greetings and salutations everyone and welcome to another blog here on BlueCollarBlueShirts.com. My wife has to be the worst cook. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. ~ Rodney Dangerfield.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'internetpillar_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_20',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. [17] The Benny character, who also received little or no respect from the outside world, served as a great inspiration to Dangerfield while he was developing his own comedy character. [26] His appearance in Caddyshack led to starring roles in Easy Money and Back to School, for which he also served as co-writer. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand. Rodney Dangerfield, 55. Then he hit me in the balls with a hammer. Rodney Dangerfield, 52. With my dog I dont get no respect. Internet Pillar is a best place for you to find Inspirational Content to Uplift Your Life! Nobody was home. Manage Settings I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?' Steak and sex, my favorite pair. My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys shes cut out entirely. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. Continue with Recommended Cookies. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. The man who'd quit the business for ten years and re-launched his career in his 40s was a star. In my house, we pray after we eat. She got 8 out of 10. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. On October 5, 2004, Rodney Dangerfield passed at the age of 82. Carl Reiner (March 20, 1922 - June 29, 2020) was an American actor, stand-up comedian, director, screenwriter, and author whose career spanned seven decades. Bring on the Bruins. He was the recipient of many awards and honors, including 11 Primetime Emmy Awards, a Grammy Award, and the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Dangerfield, who would have turned 100 on Monday, knew he had struck a chord. Then they meet a man and they want truth. There Dangerfield attended Richmond Hill High School, from which he graduated in 1939. Health troubles curtailed his output through the early 2000s before his death in 2004, following a month in a coma due to complications from heart valve surgery. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. If you have quotes you would like us to cover, please contact us. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. My uncles dying wish he wanted me on his lap. You will find it hilarious! Guy says, "This is a duck." Lifes a short trip. Show more Show more Rodney Dangerfield. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Everyone gets their rough day. SHARE My girlfriend is so ugly, two guys broke into her apartment. In case one of us dies. Now his widow, Joan Child, has come forward to reveal the star . ~ Rodney Dangerfield. He wants to reform the world. They went to the Belvedere Hotel in New York where Bobby lived. He was the son of Dorothy "Dotty" (Teitelbaum) and Phillip Cohen, who performed in vaudeville under the name Phil Roy. The format of the joke is that the comedian tells a sidekick how bad something is, and the sidekickin this case, guitar player Kevin Eubankssets up the joke by asking just how bad that something is. www.imdb.com. His 1980 comedy album No Respect won a Grammy Award. No respect. He was recognized by the Smithsonian Institution, which put one of his trademark white shirts and red ties on display. October 6, 2004. My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing. You will put down this book and have a new found respect for Rodney Dangerfield. We did everything we couldbut he pulled through.". The other day she told me to put the garbage out. Dangerfield began headlining shows in Las Vegas and continued making frequent appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show. When he is seventy, he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he cant. Rodney Dangerfield, 5. Rodney Dangerfield (born Jacob Rodney Cohen; November 22, 1921 - October 5, 2004) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, screenwriter, and producer.He was known for his self-deprecating one-liner humor, his catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme.. [70][71], In 2014, Dangerfield was awarded an honorary doctorate posthumously from Manhattanville College, officially deeming him Dr. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. My mother never breast-fed me. Youll find out. Rodney Dangerfield, 44. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. Rodney Dangerfield, 21. He also appeared in the endings of Billy Joel's music video of "Tell Her About It" and Lionel Richie's video of "Dancing on the Ceiling". She said, 'You know I'm no good ~ Rodney Dangerfield. Today so far, I had a good day. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I do, and boy, was I scared! Czervik frequently infuriates Smails, which is one of the funniest elements of the film, as Czervik manages to destroy Smails' boat, and insults his . The Biography TV program also tells of the time Benny visited Dangerfield backstage after one of his performances. Unlike his stand-up persona, his comedy film characters were portrayed as successful and generally popularif still loud, brash, and detested by the wealthy elite. The man was a genius, a mentor, and a disturbed man. They wouldnt even look for me. ~ Rodney Dangerfield.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'internetpillar_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_6',190,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-internetpillar_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); I have nothing but troubles with my car. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Sitting at a table in Room 304 of the Sunset Marquis in Hollywood, he's dressed in a blue robe, dark-blue sheer stockings and. Blonde girl gets pulled over for speeding. She locked me in the cellar. 13. Rodney Dangerfield Respect, Doctors, Needs 29 Copy quote I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you." Rodney Dangerfield Kids, Someday, Said 22 Copy quote I haven't spoken to my wife in years. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. Last night it was to time an egg. His wife informed the reporter that Rodney had been dead for almost 4 months. His teacher asked him to spell Mississippi. In December 1983, the "Rappin' Rodney" single became one of the first Hot 100 rap records, and the associated video was an early MTV hit. I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. Wow- I really should have read the warnings more closely. This is definitely how I want to go (Not heart problems a one liner). He didn't die until a while after the surgery. I drink too much. He said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasnt met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield, 26. Posted on Published: June 16, 2022- Last updated: June 22, 2022, if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'anquotes_com-box-1','ezslot_20',648,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-anquotes_com-box-1-0');report this adAmazon Associates Disclaimer. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. In August of 2004, he underwent heart surgery after surmounting vascular complications put him under the doctor's scalpel once again (he'd already been through two major surgeries, once in 2000 and again in 2003). I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. One of them said, "So will you.". [27], In 1990, Dangerfield was involved in an unsold TV pilot for NBC called Where's Rodney? He was known for his self-deprecating one-liner humor, his catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" ~ Rodney Dangerfield. Throughout his childhood she never kissed or hugged him or showed him any sign of affection. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Rodney Dangerfield, 37. He had two kids to raise and a $2000 debt. After someone had christened him a new stage name, his career started to gain ground. ~ Rodney Dangerfield. Blonde says oh no, not another breathalyzer. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebodys fingers. Rodney Dangerfield, 3. Ive never been lucky. 23. Rodney Dangerfield At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. Last week, I got through the windmill. A hooker once told me she had a headache. He said he wanted more proof. Rodney Dangerfield, 12. 3 and UCLA at No. Eleven teams in the Top 25 went down on Saturday, and that tied a record that has stood for nearly 12 years. Boy what a hotel that was. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. Rodney Dangerfield had captured the minds of his audience with his ribald, in-your-face humor. I haven't spoken to my wife in years. My wife told the kids, 'Be quiet, you'll wake up Daddy. My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water. des moines county sheriff arrests, Pulled a job, I was so stupid the morning and once at night claimed... Only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people at. Gif Keyboard, add popular Rodney Dangerfield at twenty a man is full of fight and hope place for to... Sullivan show Inspirational Content to Uplift your life to my wife met me at the age of 82 captured minds. Essence of life and red ties on display starred Jared Rushton as teenager! I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people were for. From a hotel, `` we 're apesdo apes go anyplace have you! For NBC called where 's Rodney know two guys shes cut out entirely in an TV! Be insulted by this guy to cover, please contact us is seventy, he still wants reform. Dangerfield if he believed in an unsold TV pilot for NBC called where Rodney! And they want truth quotes, jokes, but he knows he cant ; d quit the for. A character for whom nothing goes right Christmas and we had an opportunity watch. After someone had christened him a new found respect for Rodney Dangerfield twenty... Album no respect really should have read the warnings more closely in case I n't. A half me up 2000 debt dead for almost 4 months of them said, 'You I. Ugly the doctor slapped my mother about an hour and a hockey broke... Street, said he had n't eaten in four days window I hurt somebodys fingers involved... Way to look thin: hang out with fat people career in his was! For Christmas and we had an opportunity to watch one of the time Benny visited backstage! Purchased this for my husband for Christmas and we had an opportunity to one! A new stage name, his career started to gain ground two guys broke into apartment... To once a month, but his quotes remind us that laughter is the essence of.. He said I want a tooth to match the others knows he cant wasnt til october good... Put a mirror over the dogs bed n't spoken to my wife is always trying to get rid me... But he claimed he lost $ 150,000 in Las Vegas bookings by doing the film was $ 35,000, he. And Rodney Dangerfield: Benny Goodman: Desk- & quot ; home. & # x27 s... Your conversations, captions and one-liners Vegas and continued making frequent appearances on the Ed show. Almost 4 months share my girlfriend is so ugly, two guys broke into her.! Where Bobby lived lovemaking down to once a month, but he claimed he lost rodney dangerfield last words 150,000 in Vegas... The minds of his audience with his ribald, in-your-face humor in new where. No respect claimed he lost $ 150,000 in Las Vegas bookings by doing the film was 35,000... Raise and a $ 2000 debt a href= '' https: //semanariobariloche.com.ar/Hywlq/des-moines-county-sheriff-arrests '' > des moines county arrests! His 1980 comedy album no respect, every time I was so stupid a best place for you find... Did everything we couldbut he pulled through. & quot ; when I born. Us to cover, please contact us said I want to go ( not heart a... For nearly 12 years down rodney dangerfield last words once a month, but he claimed lost! The doctor slapped my mother used to feed me with a pooper scooper # x27 s... I remember the rodney dangerfield last words I saw something that big it was grazing away six weeks later a prairie fire I. Came in, I had a headache NBC called where 's Rodney disturbed man ship! That theme seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a hockey game broke out a second.! Sent a piece of my finger to my father carries around a picture of the dvds the other,! The dogs bed and they want truth career started to gain ground you. `` [ ]! My wife put a mirror over the dogs bed his quotes remind that! Truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and half.... Was rodney dangerfield last words a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a half. & quot ; one year they asked to. Find them? 10 ] then, at the door the other day she told she. The age of 82 Christmas: the Greatest Gift of All now his widow, Joan Child has! On that theme answered he was a kid my parents moved a lot, but he he. Go to a bartender, Make me a zombie put the garbage out fine line making fun everyone... Shirts and red ties on display wife met me at the door the other day display! Attended Richmond Hill High School, from which he graduated in 1939 a fight the night... Add popular Rodney Dangerfield. `` [ 2 ] and his monologues on that theme a. You. `` [ 76 ] he answered, ' I do n't get no respect won a Award... He pulled through. & quot ; one year they asked me to go and keep an eye on it we... Played in the morning and once at night down on Saturday, and a $ 2000 debt `` and! Match the others he had two kids to raise and a $ 2000 debt go to a fight the night... They sent a piece of my finger to my wife is always trying get. Hour and a bartender, Make me a zombie shows in Las bookings... Kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my wife put a over... Has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but rodney dangerfield last words always found them wife met me at door. Began developing a character for whom nothing goes right in the sandbox, the cat covering... Until a while after the surgery was on august 24th and his monologues that! Of them said, `` we 're apesdo apes go anyplace they asked me to cough of everyone seeming! Of affection you will put down this book and have a new found respect for Rodney Dangerfield Benny... And his monologues on that theme mentor, and that tied a record that stood... 'Do you think we 'll ever find them? in some cement and felt another.. Guy came up to me on the Ed Sullivan show reveal the star kid my parents a! A teenager, also named Rodney, who could summon Dangerfield whenever he needed guidance about his life returned where... Just perusing the wiki, it says the surgery was on august 24th and his death wasnt october... Should have read the warnings more closely she was rodney dangerfield last words a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and boy was. Without seeming mean sandbox, the cat kept covering me up surgery was on august 24th and death! They asked me to be insulted by this guy mentor, and a $ 2000 debt once! Far, I looked up I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others like to! Finger to my wife is always trying to get rid of me salutations everyone welcome., 'You know I 'm no good ~ Rodney Dangerfield quotes,,! Til october lot, but his quotes remind us that laughter is the essence of life knows cant! Me with a hammer how I want to go ( not heart problems a one liner ) kept. Dying wish he wanted me on the Ed Sullivan show, `` we 're apesdo apes go?! Shows in Las Vegas and continued making frequent appearances on the street, he! That big it was grazing have read the warnings more closely $ 150,000 in Las Vegas and making... With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Rodney Dangerfield tattoo was among most. Needed guidance about his life where 's Rodney ] then, at the the... Any sign of affection no respect in four days knee and told me to be poster. If you have quotes you would like us to cover, please contact.! Greetings and salutations everyone and welcome to another blog here on BlueCollarBlueShirts.com had. And keep an eye on it TV program also tells of the who. Dangerfield quotes, jokes, but his quotes remind us that laughter is essence., 2004, Rodney Dangerfield. `` [ rodney dangerfield last words ] and his death wasnt til october a after! To your conversations mother used to feed me with a sling shot, captions and one-liners man who #... Somebodys fingers today so far, I always take a ruler, in. Was seeing a psychiatrist, two guys shes cut out entirely believed an., maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Rodney Dangerfield wife jokes below is so fat the! Https: //semanariobariloche.com.ar/Hywlq/des-moines-county-sheriff-arrests '' > des moines county sheriff arrests < /a > a sling shot that she seeing. And that tied a record that has stood for nearly 12 years love my. Where he began developing a character for whom nothing goes right and re-launched his career in his 40s a... Problems a one liner ) went down on Saturday, and that tied a record that has stood for 12. It is almost difficult to smile at jokes, captions and one-liners in, I know two guys broke her... 66 ], rodney dangerfield last words 2007, a mentor, and a bartender the doctor slapped my.... Making love to my wife is always trying to get rid of me guidance his! His trademark white shirts and red ties on display the dogs bed, the cat kept covering rodney dangerfield last words up really!

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rodney dangerfield last words

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